Being able to go back in time to the exact moment where we experienced pain, trauma or stress is unfortunately impossible. Even if it were possible, you would be erasing the very experiences from which your current knowledge and wisdom grew from, inevitably transforming your present and future. You wouldn’t be here today without your past experiences (positive or negative). Your trauma does not define you, but it’s still a significant part of your story that reflects how far you’ve come on your ascension journey. This is all part of the karma that you chose to absolve and satisfy in this lifetime, but that doesn’t mean that you have to live within the shadows of the past and all that you cannot change.
What if I told you, you could do the next best thing and re-wire your brain to respond differently to your trauma? All this requires is intention, compassion and dedicated practice.
The subconscious mind is not all that it’s cut out to be. We give so much power to a part of ourselves that really isn’t as intelligent as we think it is. The subconscious mind does what it’s told and believes what we tell it to. It attaches itself to the words we speak and thoughts that we think, and keeps these words alive in an endless spiral until we say, think, or do something that counteracts these beliefs. The subconscious mind can be changed and manipulated through intentional and repetitive thoughts, allowing us to alter our cognitive response to memories of the past. You cannot go back in time, but you can re-wire your thought patterns and shift how your mind responds to the past.
When we experience something stressful or traumatic, that experience creates an imprint in our minds. The mind records the event that took place and the emotional feelings that were evoked as a reaction. Throughout our lives, we may experience triggers that spark memories stored in the back of our subconscious. These triggers don’t always have to be the same as what created the trauma, to begin with. It’s usually something different. Someone giving you an unnerving look from across the room, could take you back to feelings of rejection stored in your childhood memories. Or perhaps someone’s tone of voice could trigger memories of the past where you were made to feel small and unimportant. Triggers are our mind’s protective response that cause us to feel the same (or similar) emotions that we felt when the wound was created. When we work towards healing the wound, triggers begin to have less of an effect on us, until the day finally comes where we aren’t affected by them at all.
Shadow work to re-write the past:
Through mediation, journalling or reflection, whatever your chosen practice is, take some time to think back to the moment you experienced trauma. Start with one isolated event first before moving on. What happened? How did it make you feel? Confused? Rejected? Isolated? Abandoned? What would you have rather felt in that moment? What would you say to your younger self knowing what you know today? Visualise yourself going back in time and comforting your younger self. Support your inner child through the trauma and tell them what they needed to hear at that moment. Tell them that they are worthy and are loved and valued more than they can imagine. Tell them about all the good that is coming. Tell them you accept them no matter what. Tell them that your self-love is abundant and unconditional. What would else you say? Write it all down and soon, the void of what was unsaid by others will be filled with words of comfort from yourself.
This process is far deeper than you can imagine. By comforting and reassuring your past self, you are changing the weight of your stressful memories and are cultivating the love, safety and reassurance that you didn’t have. You were there for yourself when others abandoned you. You loved yourself when others stopped. You valued your differences when others misunderstood you. Eventually, the masks and labels that you use to attach yourself to your past experiences will no longer fit comfortably. Suddenly, your subconscious mind will stop recycling the same thoughts that are rooted in fears, shadows and low self-esteem because you’ll no longer identify with these wounds. Triggers will cease to impact you because this trauma will no longer be held and stored within your body or mind. Set yourself free; this is your life so you are the only one capable of doing it.